Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Randomize
