And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
