Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
