OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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