We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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