miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How does it feel to date your dad?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
