I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
