is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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