We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
