life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
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