man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I am available for nakedness
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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