I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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