Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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