i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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