i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
