There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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