My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The adults are the big ones right?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
