so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
