Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Randomize
