dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
