Whod you bang
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
