dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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