I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My penis needs a shock collar
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
