The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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