I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize