Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
