i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
