there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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