My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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