I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
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