Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
