I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
