We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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