There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
where are you?
Hypothermia
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
