I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
