fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
