Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
