Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
