Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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