All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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