I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
