is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
