Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
