dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That accounts for only three of the penises
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
