i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
