They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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