he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
