I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
