btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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