1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
