am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
