Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
