whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
