pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
