He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
