I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
