so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
