Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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