I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
